Lorelei took her first steps. We’ve been trying to coax her to walk for weeks. There are many videos of her almost walking, but losing her nerve. But we were playing beside the couch and she faced away from me and took 4 steps. The symbolism is not lost on me. A few months ago the kids’ daycare had an art night where we got to see all the art the kids had made. Lorelei’s class “helped” the teachers glue pre-cut shapes a la Matisse. Her teacher named her picture Independent Lines, Independent Lady because Lo didn’t want any help putting the shapes down. She’s going to figure it out herself. I couldn’t be prouder.
Life here looks remarkably similar to life a month ago. Shelter-in-place feels comfortable in many ways. We did get a nanny because Pip and I weren’t able to focus on work and the kids weren’t getting enough attention. Her name is Katie. She’s fantastic but will leave for grad school in 5-6 weeks so I’m interviewing au pairs too. Moriarty has someone to play super hero games with him all day. Lorelei has someone to play blocks. It’s really good. They’re happier and it creates more moments for snuggly goodness.
Lorelei has started singing and dancing a little. I’ll put on music, most recently it was the Indigo Girls, and she’ll bounce up and down. She still laughs like a dolphin and it’s painfully cute. She LOVES to pull the kleenex out of the box one at a time and mound them up. I pre-loaded a box with scarves to let her play that game without making such a mess. Lots of things are growing out of control including the plants in the garden and my hair. This is secret to navigating all the awkward hair stages to grow out really short hair. #silverlining
I’m going to share this and hope that it doesn’t hurt Moriarty’s feelings when he reads it. Pip and I are pretty honest about things many parents see as harmless fantasy lies, like Santa Clause. We think the kids can enjoy the magic and the season without believing in things that aren’t real, partly because when kids learn they aren’t real later they sometimes feel betrayed. So, we say that some families believe in Santa, but we don’t. On a phone call with my dad a couple weeks ago Moriarty confided in a whisper “my people don’t believe in Santa, but I do”. He couldn’t be cuter.
—> the rest is mostly me talking about my life not the kids
I’m a whirlwind of emotions as I interview for jobs and juggle hiring nanny/au pair help, plus work my full time job including going into my office a day a week. I’m frazzled. I’m full of self-doubt. It’s bleeding into home life. But I have to find a job that fits my brain, my heart, and my family. It’s a big ask. Covid is highlighting the desperate need for good point-of-care testing and I happen to have spent 10 years studying that. So I feel like I have to make every effort to find a role doing that or I’ll regret it forever.
To cope with my stress we’ve been baking. Moriarty helps. He’s the master sifter, and pretty good at using measuring spoons. But he doesn’t like having the sticky dough on his hands. We made the cranberry for Lorelei’s birthday, then blueberry, then pumpkin, then pumpkin cranberry. I’ve learned that you have to work the dough enough to get all the dry mixed in (I erred on the underworked side to avoid the overworked side - hrm), and you have to use heavy whipping cream. The recipe says buttermilk is fine but it’s lying. Don’t trust it!
Pictures are here, password “mal”