For years I’ve wanted to go see the Redwood forest in CA. I didn’t have an opportunity in grad school and then I thought, hey, I’ll wait until I have kids and take them. Perfect family vacation. I have now fulfilled my goal of taking my family to the Redwoods, though “perfect vacation” is not a thing when kids are involved. The trip was 12 days. We spent 2-3 days in 5 towns so we had time to enjoy the local attractions but also break up the drive into smaller pieces. We found a fish-n-chips restaurant called Mo’s, and Moriarty bought a tie dye hoodie with the branded name. We visited a mermaid museum and saw the plaque of the siren, Lorelei. We played on many beaches and sand dunes. The Redwoods were amazing. They were everything I hoped they’d be. We did one long hike to the Boyscout Tree. It was 5.3 mi total. Lorelei walked almost the whole time. I think she fared better than Chiara. We drove through a tree! I think the hollowed out tree was created before giant trucks because the driver before us spent ~10 min trying to squeeze through. Our minivan was tight but much smoother. We found a small zoo where goats, sheep, elk, and friends will eat out of your hand while you pet them. We also got to hold some animals and see others up close. Pip’s birthday happened over the trip and we went to an arcade that day to play skee ball. The kids brought along their allowance money and spent it throughout the trip. We bought them some souvenirs, but expected them to make choices about some with their own money. It was another good opportunity to practice with money on a small scale.
A close second for update highlights is that Lorelei is now 4. It feels like she’s been socially 4 for a long time, but now it’s also true chronologically. We had a party at a park/beach she likes. A couple friends from her play dates with Chiara and other au pairs came, as well as her cousins. I made a rainbow cake and the fondant colors faded in the sun! She’s thrilled about starting school in a few weeks though there’s upcoming tumult as Chiara leave and the new au pair, Lisandro, arrives (that change happens this weekend). Lorelei and Chiara are very close so I’m nervous about how she’ll react to the change. But, she’s 4 now and all grown up! Her vocabulary is staggering, but not surprising given she lives with Pip and me. She still can’t say Moriarty’s name, so this is my transliterated recollection. She recently came to me and said, “M'atty [an]tagonized me again”.
Other exciting news was a visit from Lisa Francine. She reads to Lorelei over zoom so they’re quite close, and she talks to me regularly too. It was wonderful to see her. There were many books and trips to the park. It was short and low key, but good for my soul.
Now it’s my moment to stand on the podium and brag about my parenting skills. I’ve been thinking about metaphors for the challenges of parenting. One that seems to fit is committing, with a blood oath, to running a hundred marathons, but making this agreement when you’re planning to start running but have no experience yet. Some parenting marathons are simple but mind-numbingly redundant. Like the “eat over your plate” marathon. And the “can you ask me with a please” (which is actually an ultramarathon). Then as they get older they get more nuanced. Well, I just placed the top time in the race to teach siblings to cooperate in choosing an activity together. This is a skill Moriarty and Lorelei had both been working on in PT/OT, and we’ve been working with them at home. Moriarty has had some issues with this skill with his friends and we tried to give him language to try and encouraged him to practice with Lorelei (that’s grad level parental manipulation there). So there we were, on vacation in a rental, when we overheard the kids talking to each other in calm voices.
Lorelei: "I don't want the game to be like this anymore
Moriarty: "ok, what do you want the game to be like?
I about doubled over in joy. I’ve honestly never felt prouder as a parent. They’re really good kids.
Funny things the kids said:
Lorelei after a dinner where she refused all food: Why can Moriarty have a treat
Lisa: because Moriarty ate his dinner at the restaurant and didn't yell about how he hated cheese.
Pip: What are you eating
Moriarty and Lisa together: a granola bar
Pip: did you get that out of my purse?
M: no...
Pip: Where did you get it from then?
M: you don't know about my backpack stash.
Pip: How many granola bars do you have in your bag
M: An amount (guilty giggles)
The amount was at least 10. I was kinda proud he was making sure his hunger needs were met.